I'm not a superstar athlete, but running track has been an integral part of my life. Perhaps even the integral part of my life. From childhood to adulthood, it's been there. Through highs and lows, it's been there. It's been there as a discipline, and it's been there as a leisurely activity. It doesn't matter where I am in the world, or who I'm with, if I'm on a 400m track, I feel at home. But what do I talk about when I talk about track?
Starting with the obvious. The raw pursuit of performance. Faster, higher, stronger. The primal desire to win. At a superficial level, to win against others. But when digging deeper, to win against oneself. To beat your personal best. To be relentless in the hunt for progress, and push further than you thought you could. I love it. That feeling of being dead on your back after a grueling training session, and knowing you gave your all. And then, that feeling when, after thousands of hours of hard work, it all comes together, and you run a time you've been aiming for. Hell, I even love the heartbreak when you fail or pull up injured. I love how raw it is. And I love that the disappointment exposes how much something can matter, even when it's just you that cares about it. Especially when it's just you that cares about it.
That said, the collective spirit of track is special too. Undeniably, it's an individual sport, and I don't think the kind of camaraderie you see on an athletics track is the same as what you see on a football pitch or rugby field. But there is something there. Something intangible. Something gray, hidden between the black and white of win or lose. I don't think it's something I can describe accurately. But you feel it. When you're doing that last rep and your training group cheers you on, you feel their urge for you to do well. When you see your rival pull up with a torn hamstring, you feel his pain because you know the work he's put in. Undeniably, it's an individual sport. When we get set on race day, we are competing against each other. Every man for himself. But, no doubt, like life, we are united by our individual pursuits. And, like life, we bring the best out of each other.
And then there are those in track who defy the rule of every man for himself. Those who make it their business for others to win. Who else could I be talking about but the coaches, the mentors, the leaders? In society, coaches and mentors are uniquely precious people. In track, I'd argue that goes twofold. There's not a lot of money or other material things to be gained from being an athletics coach. And so, these people tend to give themselves entirely to others, just because they derive joy from seeing someone else do well. Never have I felt my own hopes and dreams cared for as much by anyone as they have been by track coaches. The world could only be better off with more people like them.
All these things are there for anyone to find if they were to step into the world of track and field. What may not be there for everyone, though, is what I have found. For me personally, I've found a heartbeat that beats outside of my body. The rhythm of my own life now hums along with the athletics seasons as they come and go. Through cold winters with long runs, building the fitness base, to sharpening up for the red-hot race days, to taking a break in the off-season. Yes, it's all a part of me now. It grounds me. I love it, I really do.
And that's that. The things I talk about when I talk about track. That is, if excluding the countless memories, the best spikes, the right technique, and all the other things that I talk about when I talk about track. But that's that for now.
Goodbye!
"I began with track and field because this is what I know."
- Sergei Bubka