Have you ever witnessed a child being fed brussel sprouts for the first time? Often times, the child will cringe from disgust before even trying to eat them. If they finally allow the sprouts to enter their mouth, they are so traumatized by the entire experience that they cannot consume more than a bite or two - sometimes even spitting them out. Better yet, they'll walk away convinced that they've now tried brussel sprouts, and they hate them.
This is the perfect analogy for the way we sometimes treat perspectives that differ from our own. First, if we can, we try to avoid them. If - for some reason - we find ourselves backed into a corner, we'll pretend to evaluate them. However, we're so convinced by our own preconceptions that we become reactionary - we don't listen to understand, we listen to respond. We've made our mind up about something based on what we've previously heard, seen or experienced; and, changing our perspective to examine a different vantage point becomes near impossible. Tragically, we'll convince ourselves that we've given something new a fair chance, and move on even more assured that our original convictions are the only ones worth considering.
Now, had we opened ourselves up to actually tasting the brussel sprouts, we may or may not have enjoyed them. Had we put our own thoughts on hold to truly listen to someone else's, we may or may not have learned something. Had we embraced an experience for what it was and not what we thought it would be, we may or may not have gained a deeper level of appreciation for it. When we approach new perspectives with a closed mind, we deny ourselves the happiness that may or may not have been waiting for us, just around the corner. The question is, do we really want to leave the chance of happiness on the table?
Of course, approaching something new with a completely open-mind is not easy. After all, the things we've carried with us from our pasts make up a lot of our individuality - they dictate who we are through the eyes of others and ourselves. If we were to truly let go of everything we already believe, we may lose our sense of self. It would seem an impossible task then, being entirely open minded whilst knowing who and what you are. Are the two mutually exclusive? I don't think so; but, to be able to balance them, one needs to accept just a little bit of absurdity - that is, that there is never a right way or a wrong way, only a way. This entails accepting that you hold your beliefs not because they are better than the alternatives, but just because...
"Just because" has the potential to be an immensely unsatisfying answer; or, the most satisfying one. If contentness is the goal, then I strongly recommend the latter since, eventually, "just because" is the only answer. No matter what perspective you have, the answer to any "why", "how" or "what" question - when you examine it for long enough - is "just because". This is due to the fact that, as far as we can tell, we exist "just because". It's overwhelming, trying to make peace with this. Yet, when you focus on the present - how strong your emotions are and how real your experiences feel; then, them being there "just because" becomes immensely fulfilling - absurd, but fulfilling. Moreover, you realize how your convictions - as real and as strong as they are - can meander and flow like a river down a mountain, changing direction effortlessly to keep moving forward.
So, be open to new perspectives. Even more so with perspectives that differ greatly from your own. We're only human, sometimes we won't be able to stop ourselves from being reactionary; but, the more cognoisant we become of this, the more we allow ourselves to let go, learn, and grow.
In short, just eat your brussel sprouts ;-)
"The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new." - Pema Chödrön