Steve Jobs said that “focus is about saying no”. This has become increasingly apparent to me over the last while. With a hankering fear that I’ll choose the wrong path, I often end up choosing no path at all. See, the problem is, my learnings so far have genuinely helped me to treat things non-preferentially - I’m now able to see the beauty and appeal of everything. And that’s great. However, it’s left me overwhelmed with choices.
It’s like standing at a cross-road between Nirvana and Nirvana; but, instead of being joyous about the Nirvana that awaits, I find myself wanting to curl up into a ball, because I’m concerned about the Nirvana I’ll miss out on. And so, I realise that my desires have trapped me. I still want everything and, as a consequence, I may end up with nothing.
This needs to change. If I am to be truly content, I am to recognise that a path only holds value because of the things it refrains from. A foreground needs a background to provide it with context. It is my hope that over the next part of my journey, I can begin to make peace with this - to be as excited for the choices I don’t make as I am for the choices I do.
Therefore, I’ve set an intention. I’m going to let a few things go. Things that I still feel extremely passionate about. Things I still want. For instance, I find myself with a rewarding full-time job; involvement in a start-up; in the pursuit of postgraduate studies; an extremely active lifestyle; and a social circle of people that I love and admire.
In addition, I want to see the world. I want to pursue more passion projects. I want to build a home. I want to learn a martial art, and to dance, and to garden. Listing it all now, it’s laughable that I thought I could pursue it all at once. Question is, which of these things that I’m busy with - or that I want to be busy with - am I willing to let go, for now.
I’m determined, and excited, to answer this question. That’s why I’ve set some time aside to clear my mind. Allow myself to be free of external afflictions. Then - when I can see a clear vision of what I want; or, more importantly, what I don’t want - I will decide. I will decide, and then, I will focus. Ha. let’s see how this goes…
Happy change of season, my friend.
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
- Mark Twain