It's that time of the year again. When some of us like to convince ourselves that, as we enter a new year, we can forget who we were, and become who we want to be. Now. For some, the line that we step over to begin a new year is arbitrary. At the end of the day, it's just a number. And, they're probably right. But, I'd say, this moment. This moment that nearly all of humanity has chosen to celebrate as the onset of something new. This moment, is as good a moment as any, to take aim at the ambitions that you have for yourself, and go after them.
This is all to say, I think setting goals at the turn of the year, can be immensely valuable. However, I also think it can be done badly. Setting goals for things we don't really want; setting goals at a level of granularity that doesn't work for us; and being overly ambitious with the time that we have, are all ingredients to a recipe for disaster. That can leave you feeling useless for not doing what you set out to do. Overworked and undersatisfied. Or, even, hopeless to try again. Because, you've woken up and realized, you don't really want that thing, that thing you thought you wanted, so very badly. How is it, then, that we can avoid the hangover that we're left with, when January comes, and goes. And we've lost all that vigour that we entered the year with, to chase our dreams. Well, it starts with putting a lot of thought into what those dreams actually are.
Most of us are cursed with an insatiable desire for more than we could ever handle. Think about a movie that truly resonated with you. Or, a book that had you glued, because it felt like it spoke to you. Or a person that you admire. Now, think of another. And, another. Likely, we could carry on for a while before you run dry. Arguably, we could carry on forever. Consider carefully, with every one of these things, lies something that you see in yourself. In some of them, lie something that you wish to see in yourself. That moment, when you hear a friend tell a story and think to yourself, wow, I really want to do that one day. Or, when you see the sun sets over the ocean at the end of a movie and you ponder, you know, I'd love to retire in a house by the beach. These moments are countless. They come at us, tirelessly. We eat food, and think, I'd love to try cook this. We see a fit person and promise ourselves, on Monday, I'm going to the gym. Therefore, when thinking about our dreams and goals, our problem is not finding things we want to do. Our problem is choosing the select few, or the one, that we really, really want.
I don't think I can prescribe to you how to best determine what you really want, and what is just an appealing distraction. Some keep a journal, some meditate, and some just know. But, with the swarm of imposters that will inevitebly try pose for a shot at your attention, I would urge anyone, to commit themselves to something, only when they've found a fire inside them that burns relentlessly at the thought of it. That fire, is the first component of a good goal. For anything less, your desire will fade. And, your motivation will run dry. Remember, you cannot just want this thing when life is good. When the whole world is standing between you and it, you need to want it enough to fight. So, choose very, very carefully. Likely, when you've found it, it will be rough and unrefined. Let's use a popular example. Say the thing that's lit a raging a fire inside you, is that you want to run a marathon. There's a lot standing between you and running a marathon. And, you probably have no idea how to begin closing the gap. So, tomorrow, you'll wake up, and you won't be ready to run a marathon. And, you won't know how to move any closer to running a marathon. So, you're no better off. Let's get to that.
When there's this thing. This thing that you know you want; but, it's still vague. It's very difficult to take a single step toward it. In this case, deadlines don't matter. You can put a date on your marathon-running expedition. Yet, if this is your first marathon, and you know nothing about what it'll take to run it, the date may come and go without you taking the first step. A marathon may be a very specific example. But, regardless of your ambition, it requires a certain amount of energy to be put into achieving it. And, what you're truly looking for, is something that will prompt you to put that energy in, whenever you need to. And that, is the second component of a good goal. Often times people say goals must be as specific as possible. I think that's too big a generalization. For some, a high-level goal is all they need. If they know they want to run a marathon in 6 months, they'll get up tomorrow and know exactly what to do. For others, they need specificity. They need a goal that encompasses every day of the next 6 months, with exactly what they need to do to get to the finish line. The important thing, is that your goal is refined to the extent that you, as an individual need, to keep you moving towards your dream.
The final component of a good goal, is a boring one. Because we've heard it a million times. Yet, it's still the mark we miss, most often. A good goal, must be realistic. Aim for the moon, and you'll end up in the stars - that's innaccurate. Undeniably, it takes a lot of energy to fail at what you set out to do. And that setback will keep you stagnant for a while. So, if possible, avoid it. Aim for the moon, and end up on the moon. Or, aim for the stars, and end up in the stars. We all have 24 hours in a day. All of us need to eat, sleep, and poop. All of us have other things we also want to get to. Do not over commit yourself. Just be honest with yourself. Use your learnings from the past to determine how much you can handle, find the right balance between ambitious and realistic, and then lean towards the side of being realistic. If the goal does not feel big enough, get there first and use it as a stepping stone for your next goal.
So, a good goal is one that arises from a passion that sits so deep inside you. A passion that will keep you going in the face of adversity. A good goal is refined, to an extent that will guide you, as an individual, towards achieving it. And, finally, a good goal is realistic. Because we want it to be real, and not to live forever in our dreams.
Time to practice what I am preaching. This year, I have ten things I want to achieve. I have ten good goals. When December comes, I'll report back on how my pursuit of them went. Good luck with yours.
Goodbye!
"To master time is, to
trust the you of the past, to
drive the you of the present, to
create the you of the future."
- Anonymous