During my 26 year-long life, I had 4 years of being the center of attention. Those were the first four years. Since then, I have been blessed and cursed with a younger sister. Or, depending on how you want to look at it, a destiny-bound nemesis. Likely, one of the most complicated individuals that I know (she shares my genes, after all). She both vexes me, and impresses me. I absolutely, unreservedly, love to hate her. And, hate to love her. These are what I imagine to be 5 rules that she maintains in being a self-proclaimed, "awesome" little sister to her older brother.
Rule 1. Just because he is older than you, does not mean you have anything to learn from your older brother. In fact, quite the opposite. You are inherently better than he is. In every way imaginable. Moreover, it is imperative that, with your superior knowledge, you make sure to guide him, forcefully, on how best to live his life. He won't always listen to your kind-hearted, unselfish advice. Don't worry about that. He's an idiot. You can only do so much. There is only one exception by which it's okay to ask to ask his advice. And that is that you do so, only with the intention of listening to what he has to say, and not doing any of it. In other words, take his advice as a form of, what not to do. Which takes us to the next rule.
Rule 2. Do not let your brother forget about the mistakes he's made. You see, he is a forgetful creature. Just because he is the one that made the mistakes. And, just because he consistently faces the consequences of those mistakes. It does not mean that he shouldn't be reminded of them. Because you care, you can go a step further here. You should remind everyone around you of his mistakes as well. This way, they can remind him when you are not around. Remember - his capacity to think for himself is extremely limited. Therefore, you need to really imprint on him what he should not be doing. Like a dog. When it pees in the house, you have to make sure he smells the urine, so that he knows what not to do again.
Rule 3. Only do something for free, if you're getting something in return. The world knows, you are a most generous, and caring being. For some reason though, your brother refuses to see it. Therefore, you must be extra selfless to him. Do him many a favour. And then, later, when you want something from him, you can point at all the things you've already done in return. He might say something stupid, like, pointing at them means they're not selfless. For sure, you must ignore him. He's just trying to confuse you. What he's saying, is irrelevant. He should just get on with it and do what you're asking of him. If anything, you've already paid for it by having to share a bathroom with him.
Rule 4. Never...never ever, lose to him. I know. The very thought is enough to make your toes curl. But, it's important to emphasize. For the most part, this is easy. Because, you should very rarely be stooping down to compete at his level. Every now and again though, he must be reminded about your superiority. In these cases, it is important you only compete when you know you'll win. Like, grabbing the remote when it's right next to you. Or, calling shotgun when he's not even sure that you're on your way somewhere. In addition, show him that you're winning, even when he's not around. This is especially the case when you're doing something, that he hasn't, but would very much like to. Send him a photo. Or better, many photos. And, of course, tell everyone.
Rule 5. Love him, unconditionally. Considering his inferiority, your brother is sure to let you down, many times. However, when it's all said and done - between dealing with all his crisis - he tries his best. And, so far, he's proven himself useful. So, best for us to simply laugh at his screw ups. For we love him. And, more than anything, he loves us too.
To my sister.
"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero."
- Marc Brown